I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
