dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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