Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
why do cheetos always look like penises
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
