writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
