I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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