I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
