omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
