Umm I'm too high to move.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
