it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
