Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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