i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
