I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
