she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
