he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
