I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
