How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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