i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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