Well douche your snatch and let's go!
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
