I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
