So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
