Whod you bang
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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