this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
