woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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