I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The best revenge is premature balding
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
