I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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