dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
