Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
