Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
