My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
