Quick, to the slutcave!
if only i could text you this smell
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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