talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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