i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
