Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
