i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
