i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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