whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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