So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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