Is it because I queefed?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
