I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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