i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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