oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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