I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
