Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
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