if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
