Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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