idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You have to summon your inner elephant
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
