he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
