Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
