I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
