Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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