You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
