Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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