Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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